To a newborn mother

To a newborn mother

The birth of a mother can be even more intense and demanding, than the childbirth itself.

Who would think so, right?

Many women prepare for birth, but not so much for the postpartum period and all it brings. Not only a baby is born. YOU are reborn, as a mother. Discovering unknown sides of yourself, all while recovering from birth, pregnancy and learning to take care of your baby and breastfeeding.

You change. Maybe you feel that right away, maybe you realize later – that there is no “coming back” to your old self. You grew, and you expanded. As a mother, you are much more than what you used to be before…

It can be a profound, deep change. Some mothers even say, that looking back, they realize that their baby has “raised” them into a parent that they need. Being braver? More sensitive? Mommy, I’ll show you how: you can stand up for me; you can learn to understand and feel me; understand and find yourself in the process;…

Embracing the state you are in after birth and accepting support is one of the secrets to finding peace and joy in the early motherhood.

Mothering, fathering – it’s a learned skill. Not automatic. And while you’re learning new skills, you need a lot of patience, support, time and practice. What we are missing in our culture are role models.

We didn’t grow up while watching all the women around us breastfeed normally. We grew up while feeding our dolls with bottles (that they automatically come with).

How strange is that? How are we supposed to believe in breastfeeding completely, when what we saw since our childhood tells us a different story?

I want you to know – it’s okay! It’s okay if you don’t know what to do when your baby cries. If you are unsure and you don’ t hear your “intuition” loud and clear.

With so much noise around, contradicting information, professional recommendations and opinions from your close ones… You can find yourself confused. Even if you were able to hear your intuition, you wouldn’t trust her.

If you are suffering from information overload, pause for a while and get some rest and unbiased support. Someone who won’t push you their ways. Who’ll just listen, support, give you space to figure out what you want. What works for you, what is making your life easier? Listen to a person, that can offer different opinions, and then lets you choose those that fit for you and your baby and leave other tips behind. Who’ll allow you to make mistakes and learn to trust yourself.

If something that you’ve been advised doesn’t feel right, your stomach tightens or your body tenses, you want to look the other way… look for different ways of doing things. Your body lets you know this is not the right way for you or your baby, even if it might have worked for someone else.

I want to tell you – you will learn slowly. Every day you’ll understand what your newborn baby needs.

And you can make slips along the way. Allow yourself to make them! There is no perfect mother or father. Those misunderstandings will teach you very quickly, what is or isn’t helpful.

Question given advise and solutions that don’t feel right. Or if they come as the only right solution. There are always more possibilities, not the right way for every mother and her baby. If you’re mindful about what is considered normal, then you can help yourself prepare.

Is that a pacifier introduced to every baby automatically? Without any warning that it can interfere with early breastfeeding success? Or is it a nicely prepared nursery with all the toys and furniture for the newborn baby, that only needs you, your breasts and your hugs the most? Babies at least to 6 months are much safer sleeping in the parent’s bedroom than alone in a beautifully designed nursery room. Leave those toys and pillows for later, so the crib can be safe for your baby sleeping, even though everyone seems to have them full of beautiful things.

I’d love you to know your options, especially if there are any risks involved. For birth, breastfeeding and the postpartum period as well. Before you give out all your energy for the breastfeeding to be successful, learn what could slow down your progress.

If you feel down, you question everything you do for your baby, or you can’t seem to find the “right” way of doing things, you need more support. It doesn’t mean that you’re not doing good or you are not good enough. It is just that hard! 🙂

If you feel down, you question everything you do for your baby, or you can’t seem to find the “right” way of doing things, you need more support. It doesn’t mean that you’re not doing good or you are not good enough. It is just that hard! 🙂

Ask for help, reassurance. Say YES to offered help.

You deserve it.

As a newborn mother, you need to let others nourish you, so you can pass it on to your baby.


What helped you in the postpartum recovery? How were you supported, when you were learning to breastfeed and take care of your baby?
Leave some tips for other mothers in this forum! We will be really grateful 😉

What was the most helpful thing you did / used / tried in the postpartum period?

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